So you want to know more about me, eh? I can't imagine why ... though surely there must be some reason or else you wouldn't be reading this, hmm?

Well, there's not much to tell. Here's a quick history of my quarter century, with flavor commentary and more details as it nears the present.
Born in Denver in 1981, the evening of December 21st, I lived in the Denver area, mostly a section of Jefferson County between Wheatridge, Lakewood and Golden, until late 2005.

The dates and details are a bit fuzzy, but suffice it to say I fell in love with a girl in Portland, OR and uprooted my life to live with her. In July of 2006, she decided she'd rather move to California by herself, and not with me as we had planned ...
I currently live in Portland, just off I-205. I specificially chose this apartment because it was near the highway, giving me an easy commute to my job in Camas, WA.
I work basically as the IT department for a small software development and animation firm called Reality Engineering. Their flagship product is MedVisor|dental. Since I'm the IT guy, when the MedVisor site was to be redesigned, I was given the task of making the graphic designer's vision a web-reality. I like how it turned out.
My official title here is "Network Administrator / Web Developer / Software Quality Assurance Tester" and more recently (and, the boss promises, temporarily) "Customer Support"

I like to think of myself as a writer, though not professionally. Several people have told me I write very good prose, though I'm not sure how apt I am to believe them. Naturally self-depricating, I am of the opinion that most of what I write is crap.
I am ecclectic. A geek of many trades. At one time or another I've been a software developer, network admin, web developer, ISP tech support phone monkey, carmel corn lacky, photo technician, stock boy and register monkey.

Physical Stats:

• Height: 5'11" ish
• Weight: around 235lbs (I've been told I wear it well)
• Hair: Brown, currently worn long-ish
• Eyes: Blue, glasses
• Age: 25 (12/21/1981)

If you still have questions, you are more than welcome to email me, or find me on an instant messenger service.
Internet Contact Info:

• AIM: KarakSindru81 (creative, no?)
• ICQ: 82979354
• Y!: Karak42@yahoo.com
• MSN: doorman47@hotmail.com
• Skype: karaksindru
• IRC: You can usually find me in the following places
  • irc.freenode.net
    • #technorama
    • #farpointmedia
  • irc.sorcery.net
    • #shawisland
  • irc.thinstack.com
    • #geekcred
    • #hackcom

1. As of Dec 21, 2006, I've been on this crazy ball of rock and water, hurtling through space, for 25 years now. Nine thousand one hundred and thirty-one days, give or take.
2. I was born at 6:02 PM
3. in Aurora, Colorado.
4. I lived in Colorado for twenty three years, 15 or so of those in the same house.
5. I lived in my parents' basement until they moved out.
6. my last name, "Ballard," is an old english word meaning "the bald headed man."
7. My eyes are broken. Nearsighted, in fact. Without my glasses I can't see clearly beyond five or six inches, though I can make out shapes well enough to recognize people a yard or more away, and can navigate on foot without difficulty.
8. I've never been skiing.
9. I'm going bald
10. I have a water bed
11. I've played and beaten the game Fallout 2 more times that I probably should have.
12. Favorite book: Either Neuromancer by William Gibson, or Nuklear Age by Brian Clevinger.
13. I currently live in Portland, Oregon
14. I have a beard. Have had it off and on for years. At this point, if I shave it off, I don't recognize the face looking back at me in the mirror.
15. I have blue eyes.
16. I have brown hair.
17. I wear size 13E shoes, though a size 12 may actually fit better. The 13 allows for foot growth, which at this point is probably not necessary.
18. To my knowledge I have not (officially) broken a bone in my body. I may have broken my right big toe in 2002-ish when I kicked a tire on my van after it died and missed the rubber part of the tire and connected with the hubcap, but never went to get it xrayed or a cast or anything.
19. I am licensed to operate motor vehicles in Oregon (and presumably the other 49 states)
20. I did not get a Colorado Driver's License until I was .. 18. My major impetus was to get my license before my sister got hers.
21. I drive a 2002 Chevy Cavalier
22. in my car, I keep an emergency hat. Like Torg and his emergency pants, I'm not quite sure why I have it, but can't think of a situation where I'm not glad I have it.
23. I replaced my first flat tire on my own on my birthday in 2004. That's the only flat tire I've had with this car.
24. I have totalled one car. My grandmother's old buick four door. Slid on some ice coming home one morning (~2AM) in February 2003, hitting a pickup truck (ironically on his way to salt a parking lot). No injuries, and the truck sustained only body damage behind the cab. The buick's frame started to drop, letting the engine block slide under the passengers, making it not worth the time and money to repair.
25. I prefer the Wide Screen DVDs, eschewing the Full Screen counterparts when possible. When I grab the Full Screen by mistake, I generally live with it. The only one I can remember going back to exchange is The Incredibles. Some people think the Wide Screen presentation has parts of the image cropped out for the black bars, but it's the other way around. Movies are shot in the 16:9 aspect ratio, then have the sides chopped off for the 1:1.33 aspect ratio of the standard TV screen.
26. Once enough of a geographic location is mapped in my head, I tend to visualize various routes to get from point A to point B.
27. in high school, I suffered from migraines. Since high school, I can think of them recurring once or twice ...
28. I chew on things a lot. Toothpicks mostly
29. I can solve a standard (3x3) Rubik's Cube
I self identify as a 'geek' rather than 'nerd' or 'dork' mostly because I don't feel I have the academic record to be a 'nerd' and I'm not socially inept enough to be a 'dork' ;)
30. Last time I weighed myself I was ~242 lbs. If you're paying attention, that's more than Homer Simpson's weight (239lbs). I think I wear it better. ;)
31. I'm moderately afraid of heights.
32. I have prehensile feet ... sort of. And they're ambidextrous to boot (no pun intended). Mostly through not wanting to bed down to pick things up, I think, I developed the ability to pick things up off the floor by grabbing them between my big toe and the "index" toe on either foot.
33. My right hand is my dominant hand.
34. I have a small mole on the right side of my neck, just above the collarbone.
35. I nicked it once while shaving, and since then I tend to cover it with my left index finger while shaving the right side of my neck.
36. My ankles tend to crack and pop when I walk.
37. I think of myself more as a Renaissance Geek - a geek of many trades, general knowledge and interest in numerous diverse areas but no real specialties.
38. I hate eyedrops. Hate. Hate. Hate.
39. I seem to pick up random bits of trivia that stick in my head, but it's rarely useful, or even moderately useful, trivia.
40. I've developed enough dexterity with my mouth to be able to turn a toothpick end over end without stabbing myself ... much
41. Probably from having to crawl behind/under/around desks to hook up computers for the past 5 or more years, I'm more flexible than I really have a right to be, especially my upper body.
42. I dislike tying my shoes.
43. I can't help but here the BBC TV/Radio voice of Deep Thought saying "Forty Two" when I read or otherwise encounter the number '42'
44. I have a small scar on the back of my left hand.
45. Sometimes I'll do things with my eyes closed, just to see if I can. Things like walking from the couch to my bed, or pouring a glass of juice or something ..
46. I have hairy feet.
47. I own a Tombstone Pizza oven
48. I will sometimes eat a whole apple, core and all.
49. I'm usually very literal minded, often doing exactly what is asked me, adhering to the letter of the request more than the spirit.
50. I'm a procrastinator.